I have always been quiet and slightly afraid to take on the world but that took away any confidence of who I was as a person.
Recently I have come to the realisation that no one except me can do anything about how I feel so this blog is a place to document and be accountable for the journey of discovery – or perhaps the re-discovery – of the person who is me! It will eventuallybe a place to share my story in a book appropriately called ‘One Woman’s Journey’, but until then it is a place to share what I have learnt and what I am still learning, in the hope that it will help even just one person to know there is a life after the loss of a loved one and that no matter how they chose to deal with that loss there is no wrong way to grieve.
And a little bit more ...
I was born in New Zealand, my parents were farmers but when I was 6 we moved to the beach and that began my life long affinity to water - I LOVE the beach.
My parents split when I was 7 but my childhood, looking back, was pretty darn good. I lived in a small town which convieniently had a training hospital as the only thing I ever wanted to be was a nurse.
After I registered I worked in Texas for a year, living with 2 other kiwis and and Aussie girl, then 2 of us moved onto London which is where I met my Australian husband John.
After living and working in London for a couple of years, we went back to New Zealand, (much to his parent's horror!), got married, had 2 gorgeous sons and when Brendan was 5 weeks old and Ian 27 months we moved to Australia spending the first 4 months living in a tiny 2 bed-roomed semi with my in-laws. Post natal depression anyone?
We had a fairly stressful few years with health issues for the 2 boys, John's parents and my mother and in the middle had another baby but we survived and life was pretty good until July 2006 when John was diagnosed with leukaemia. After 5 rounds of chemo and a bone marrow transplant John's body just could not cope any more and on Boxing Day 2006 the machines were turned off and our family changed forever.
The next 3 years were the most difficult of my life, and I still have moments, but it is time to become the person I was meant to be and the journey has begun .....
a terrible copy - but us early 2006
John - September 2006
The boys - November 2009