Sunday, July 11, 2010

A Reason, A Season or a Lifetime??

… and once again work interferes! For anyone who doesn’t know – I am a nurse –I work 10:30pm – 7am – 7 nights on, 7 off. Tonight is night 6 and it has been a VERY busy week! …and as always by the end of the week the blog tends to go by the wayside as I get more and more tired.

Today I wasn’t sure what, if anything, I was going to write and then I read something a friend ‘borrowed’ from a person whose name apparently is 'Anonymous' lol. Anyway, as I was reading it I was nodding and realised this covers exactly what has happened in my life and suddenly, relationships that I was sad had changed took on a new perspective.

So this is what ‘Anonymous’ said ...

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.

What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. 

This is the part I struggle with - the moving on. I am an emotional person. I don’t do anything half way and I find it difficult to accept that others are not the same. When I find someone with whom I click I want to get to know them more and talk every day. This is me; I am learning slowly not to expect others to be the same. I am learning to accept that some people prefer to take it slowly, to not ‘nag’, to take it more at their pace. And I have to say, it is killing me lol. I am learning to accept that people can come online or on Facebook and not say hello every time. I am very aware that I am emotional and needy and even more so when I am in the middle or end of my working week.
I have always thought that people were just tired with having to deal with me but this has made me re-think a little. I am not saying that I'm not hard work, what I am saying is perhaps part of the change in the relationship was that the reason for that closeness had passed, that it was time for a different phase of the relationship. I am thinking of two people in particular and both of these people played an important part in my recovery after John’s death - in very different ways. I know both of them read this at times – maybe they will recognise themselves and realise how much I appreciate them. I hope so!

In case you haven't worked it out I over think things. Because of my past I have this tendency to assume that all my relationships are going to be short ones, in fact I probably sabotage them before the other person gets a chance to. The theory is that I will get out before I get hurt. Let me add, it doesn't work.

I have recently had this exact discussion with a friend and I have to say I have been told off and been told that this friendship is forever, unless I choose otherwise and you know what? I am beginning to think maybe, just maybe he is right. :) I am certainly working at not letting myself spoil this relationship. I need to stop, and am getting better about, not worrying what other people think but most of these feelings stem from my up-bringing and past history and it will take time. But the most important thing is we are friends and he makes me smile and what is more important than that!

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. 

I am fortunate to have had several lifetime relationships. I have lived in four different countries so many of my friends and even some family have got lost in all the moves but there are many who have ‘stuck’ and yes I have learnt much from them. The lessons are as many and varied as those relationships … but the ‘friendship is clairvoyant’ struck me. 

Have you ever met someone who you just click with, a soul mate I guess but not in the conventionally accepted way? Someone who just ‘gets you’? I am fortunate that I have and she has been the best friend I could possibly imagine while I have been going through the toughest time in my life. It was the ‘clairvoyant’ that made me smile – how many times have we buzzed each other on messenger at exactly the same time or sent virtually the same message at the same time on Facebook, messenger or by text. We think the same on pretty much everything and despite living on opposite sides of the world, or perhaps because if it, we still manage to stay really good friends!

… and now it is time to sleep – one more night to go and then I will be back to real life again and I can catch up a little!!

Feeling of the Day: Still tired!

Song of the Day: … Flying without Wings - Westlife


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I like the words of Anonymous and I completely agree with them! You're right, thinking of relationships in this way can give you a new perspective on them. It can be sad when you realise that a potential 'lifetime' was really just a 'season', but as long as you can accept that they were a season for a reason, then it's all good. xx