We talk about 'home' all the time, but it can mean so many different things to different people.
I have lived in Australia now for 23 years but I still talk about New Zealand as home. I think that is a common thing for people who move countries and I guess that the place we grew up in will always hold a special place in our hearts.
When we first moved here (John was Australian), we moved to make a better life for our boys with the understanding that if after 3 or 4 years we (read me here) were not happy, we would go back. It was a huge move, because although I had lived in a couple of other countries, it was always temporary. This however was not!
So as we are still here, I guess you are thinking it all worked out well! The honest answer is we just couldn't afford to go back. I would have moved with a day's warning. For the first 5 years I hated it, I was so homesick and so alone. I knew no-one and John was away 12 hours a day. I had met people, at playgroup and such, but there was all that time in between and with 2 small boys, it was just too hard. And then there was the weather! Australia was hot! I thought I could live the same life here but eventually I learnt - you just didn't go out in the heat and you certainly didn't walk in it!
Recently I have been thinking more about 'home'. When John died several people assumed I would go back to NZ and although the thought did occur to me - briefly -this is home now. This is where my kids are and is everything they know (Ian was 27 months and Brendan 5 weeks old when we moved) and although Ian might say he would like to live in NZ - in reality I can't see it happening. But apart from that - they are getting on with their own lives, as they should.
So why now? Why am I suddenly worrying about where home is? Last night we talked about getting our Austrlian citizenship and while I had always planned to eventually - we were just beginning when John first got sick - any other time I have thought about it I felt sad. Last night it just felt right. It is time!
Now all I have to do is make sure none of us committed a crime in NZ (police checks) although I am pretty sure the boys are safe lol and then pay a lot of money for them to tell me that I can live here (still). I am actually looking forward to it. Next step - to get Lachie his NZ citizenship (he was born here) so we will all be duel citizens!
Home really is where the heart is!
Feeling of the Day: Content
Song of the Day: (what else) Advance Australia Fair
and watch this - I love it lol
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