Friday, June 18, 2010

Veering off from the Expected Road

After you've done the best that you can do and you've spent all the passion, courage and effort you have, but things still seem out of reach, then this is the time for you to ask God if what you've tried to achieve is what He wants you to have. Because sometimes we waste our time chasing something that is not meant for us, while we ignore what God has prepared for us....
Closing a chapter in your book of life states that you have grown in certain areas of your life. It shows you that you are ready for some new challenges & new growth. You may experience some pain and memories, but the pain and memories have now turned into wisdom. So now, apply your new growth, new challenges, and wisdom to another chapter of your life and create new memories

One of my FB friends posted this as her status and even though I am probably looking at it differently to her, it struck a chord! (or should that be cord?) Anyway - recently I have come to realise that my life is not going to go back to where it was - I think I had this picture in my head that eventually it would all fit back into place but without John. Realistically this is not possible - the boys and I are all different people and I am not sure that any of us would go back - except of course to have our father and husband back, but the boys have grown and matured, they have moved on. Ian is working and doing uni and yesterday went to apply to work at Camp Quality. I am very proud of him, he is such a lovely young man, and yes, of course I am biased but I have been told over and over by other people. Brendan is at TAFE (technical college) doing IT and has almost finished his diploma (I think) and is looking at going back next semester and specialising and perhaps to uni next year. He is also working part time and is also a very nice young man - less out going and confident than Ian but still gorgeous - and yes - I hear it about him as well! Hey - you have to share these 'proud mother' moments! Lachie is the one who has changed the most - he was 8 when John died and he starts high school next year. He has gone from a little boy to almost a teenager and everything that that implies - but despite the attitude he is a caring, loving child who is becoming more like his dad as he gets older and I am equally as proud of him as I am the other two.

So would we, could we go back? No - so I guess that means it time to step forward into the new life that is waiting. As I have said, over the last few months I have been changing and my 'road' has definitely veered off to one side and now I have stopped fighting it (well, mostly) - I can see it is a good thing. I am looking forward to see what is ahead despite the fact that I will almost certainly fight it at times, and wish I was back 4 years ago - at times, and hate where my life is going - at times. But over all - bring it on! I am ready for something new!

Feeling of the Day: Lazy!



1 comment:

Gill said...

Yep, you've certainly come a long way - all of you! :)