Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Feeling for the Day ....

Well! ... so much for writing every day - in my defense I have just finished 7 nights (10:30pm - 7am) in a row and as most of them were pretty hard, so I think I can be excused ...well, that's my excuse anyway and I am sticking to it.

People who think that the stories of strange behaviour during a full moon are just a myth should try working in a nursing home for just one night during that time. Or in a hospital, or be an ambo or a police officer. Anyone of them will tell you that for no good reason people are definitely different and a lot strange on those nights! Normally sane people do very odd things and those with dementia or similar can go totally 'off'.

So having got through those nights, this is my first whole day off .. in theory a day to relax, but in practice, for me, it is a day to catch up. To find my house that the whirlwind somehow flew through while I was sleeping. I sometimes wonder if I had girls instead of boys would it be any different but I am guessing probably not. Don't get me wrong ... the boys are great ... and they do all the obvious things, including the washing, cooking etc while I am sleeping but it is the small things. The clothes washed but not put away, the wet towels left in a pile on the floor, the things dropped where ever they might be ... those kind of things. The things that make a house look untidy and horrible if any one comes to the door.

Not that that is an issue at our house. The only people who ever come to our door apart from Lachlan's friends are people trying to sell something ... but that's not the point - I want my house to look lived in but not so lived in that I am embarrassed if someone calls in unexpectedly! I know I shouldn't complain, but ... lol ... there is always a but!

So today I have been cleaning and one half of my house looks good - the other half I will get to when I am done here, but as always when I need to vent, I write and anyone who is reading this get to hear my whinging. (sorry)

Feeling of the day: resentful! For all kinds of reasons .. but mostly because I am feeling invisible.

Reason no 1: Our council in their 'wisdom' and I use the word loosely, have instigated a new rubbish collection. We now have 3 bins - which in theory works well. Some stupid person decided that the food and composting rubbish bin should be a big bin, where as our every-day rubbish is half the size! duh! Do they think we throw away food at the price it is today. Add to that we are supposed to put the food straight into the bin. Yes, they are giving us a year's supply of biodegradable bin liners for our small inside bins but after 6 months we were still waiting - so after finding maggots by the hundreds in my bin (as did all my neighbours) I went out and bought biodegradable bags. Last week I got a letter saying if I didn't stop using plastic bags I would not have the bin collected - as in '3 counts and you are out'. This week they didn't empty my bin and I am a tad irritated, especially as I can't get through to the 'help line'. Oh ... and the year's supply of bin liners, which arrived 2 days ago, is apparently 45! sigh!

Reason no 2: Last week we had our (usually) fabulous handyman/builder come and fix a leaking tap - among other things. All week both the boys and I have been trying to call him and have left numerous messages for him. The leak at the top has stopped but it is now leaking underneath. Yes, I could call a plumber but apart from the cost - he broke it -  he should fix it! ... and the wood that is now warped and replace the 20 rolls of toilet paper I had to throw out!! grrr

Those are just the highlights ..  as well as invisible, I am resentful in both cases ... but a little while ago I suddenly realised I was feeling resentful towards John. He should be here to help me. I am tired of coping with everything alone and while I know it can't be helped, he obviously didn't mean to die, the resentment is still there as well as the anger and the tears! I hate that! It has been so long since I felt this bitterness and I don't like it but having vented and hopefully got it out of my system, I will go back to cleaning and keep trying to get hold of the people who are ignoring me and if nothing else... tomorrow is another day!!

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