Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Life's Changing Directions

Oops - it's been a couple of days! Blame the cold that overnight grew into bronchitis. Nothing like feeling like death walking to stop you writing!  For the last 36 hours or so I have not had the energy or inclination to do anything but sit. But remember back when I wondereed if I really was a Gemini and I said I couldn't just sit. Well, apparently it's true even when I am sick! So I have sat mostly in front of the computer and done a fair bit of internet surfing, in among the sleeping and coughing and generally feeling crap!

So what have I been looking at? Blogs for a start and then onto writing stuff and especially some of my favourite authors. I have learnt so much and what I like is this is information from people who have 'been there and done that'. It's not all up-in-the-air things you should do but actual real advice. The most important one being to write!! Well duh! I know it seems obvious but sometimes it is easy to get cauaght up in the process, the how-tos and whys and forget to actually write!

And I have been doing a lot of thinking - for anyone who knows me, that is always worrying, but you can all relax ... I really haven't come to any momentous decisions. I have just been thinking about where my life is going and the direction I want it to head. I can't remember if I have mentioned this before but if I have - pardon my repetition. A couple of weeks ago I quit one of my jobs. Of course it never felt like a job, in fact I called it my 'fun job'. I was teaching scrap booking and I loved it. I would spend hours every day scrapping and organising and writing classes. I was in my element, and then John got sick and every thing changed. I kept teaching for a while but there was just too much happening so I stopped. About 18 months after he passed away I was asked if I would like to go back to teach one class a month (this was all I could manage with working more than before and family etc). I was thrilled and I LOVED being back teaching but the rest  never quite felt the same. It is true to a degree what they say about never being able to go back ... I found it really hard to be with the people I had loved spending time with a couple of years ago. They had moved on, as had I and I always felt just a little out of it. I also have to confess that much of this was my fault - if I had made more of an effort perhaps it would have been different, but honestly - I just couldn't be bothered. 

Don't get me wrong, I still consider these people great friends. We are just in different places. I had been thinking about quitting teaching for a while and then the other day I found myself hoping the class would be cancelled and suddenly I realised - this was ridiculous. If I wasn't enjoying it - why was I there?

I stilll love to scrap and am currently working on a project at the moment -which I can't show you for a while ... sssshhhhh .... but my life is heading off in another direction and I am very happy with it. All I need to do now is instill more discipline into my writing. This is a start but it will improve .... when I am feeling better  *wink*

I have been thinking about this blog and confess I have 'borrowed' a couple of ideas from when I was browsing - Wordless Wednesday for example - (we are pretending today is Tuesday because that is when I started writing this). Others will come to me as we progress but be on the look out - you just never know what might apprear next :D

Feeling of the Day: Exhausted! - I have just been out to the doctor and it was such hard work ... now I need to just sit!

Song of the Day: One of my Favourites ... Illusion and Dream - Poets of the Fall

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