Friday, August 27, 2010

A Fairytale Life

We all want a fairytale life ... right?

It , the fairytale life, is often held up as the ultimate - the  life we would choose if we could. This image is upheld and even reinforced by the media and the so-called celebrities, both of whom tend to make our very normal lives look just a little, if not a lot, mundane. This feeling of being too 'ordinary' is often made worse by television. What young girl wouldn't want to live the life of Hanna Montana, and who wouldn't want friends like 'Friends', like Joey, Phoebe and the others. There are so many shows that show the 'perfect life' and while we might know in our head that it is not real life, in our heart we hope and think ... maybe .. just maybe...

So, assuming you have decided you do want the fairytale life, which fairytale would you want to live?

Maybe Cinderella - how are your floor scrubbing skills? Beauty and the Beast? No claustrophobia or allergies to beasts I hope. Alice in Wonderland perhaps? - but there are so many issues there and maybe it is not a good idea to admit to hearing animals talk to you! If you don't mind large gentlemen with a tendency to lock you in cages there is Jack and the Beanstalk or maybe Goldilocks - as long as you don't mind porridge for breakfast. Then there is Hansel and Gretel ...ummm ... pass! Little Red Riding Hood ... sigh. Maybe not!

I know there are some 'good' fairy tales and how often does the girl end up with her prince? - either literally or figuratively! 

In the 'real' world we often look at other people and wish we had their lives, but what do we really know except what they choose to show us. We assume everyone else has the perfect life and we are the only ones struggling. Okay, maybe not the only ones, but I am sure you get what I mean.

I have a couple of friends whose lives look to all outward appearances, if not wildy exciting at least calm and uneventful, where as in reality in one case both my friend and her husband are very sick and realistically living on borrowed time and the other couple are struggling with their teenagers.

In my own life a few years ago we went through an extremely tough time. Both my parents-in-law were very ill, both on dialysis and both passed away within 5 months of each other, my mother was in intensive care in New Zealand, we had a baby and both my older boys were very sick and couldn't go to school, one of them was hospital every second week, but on the outside I looked like I was coping and while I guess I was to a degree, it was not well. Eventually I had to admit I wasn't, and the few people I did tell were shocked.

We are conditioned at an early age to show a perfect, or at least nearly perfect life but maybe its time we realised that not everything is perfect and that it doesn't need to be. Honestly when you look at some of thse celebrities just how happy are they really? Can they be happy jumping from marriage to marriage, always being on show, being held up as an example for every little mistake that in 'normal' people would be pretty much ignored? Like everyone, they had assumed that other people's lives were going well.

Maybe it's time to accept the person that is us, and yes, of course we should strive to change our lives in the way we want, but we also need to remember that what we have now is important and we shouldn't spend our whole life trying to become someone else whilst forgetting to actually live in the here and now. On the other hand, no one said dreams are not important.

Let's look at our lives realistically and dream not of perfection, but of our 'new reality, and let's work towards it at a pace that keeps each of us is reasonably comfortable. As long as the way is generally forward, despite a few backward steps, then it is all good! And meanwhile we will be living our own version of a fairytale life, hopefully with a prince to slay the dragons as they come along!

Feeling of the Day: Thoughtful

Song of the Day: I know I have used it before but it seems appropriate ... Fairytale - Alexander Rybak


Anonymous said...

It's all so true Shirley ... I think the hardest thing, and the first step in re-creating our lives, is acceptance (something we've discussed at length, I know). Only then can we begin to build and grow, and actually create our own fairytale. I know we're both on our own journey at the moment - and I know in my heart we'll both get to where we want to be, eventually.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

You're absolutely right and that is why we should not waste our time comparing our lives to those with seemingly perfect lives. We don't really know what they have to deal with. No one has a perfect life. Sometimes those which look best from the outside have to deal with the greatest heartache.

Shirley said...

Yes, and we are all guilty of the 'grass is always greener on the other side of the fence' mentality - at least to some degree.

The trick is to realise what is already good in our own lives and build on it. The problem is getting to the stage where you truly believe it - the acceptance - and that takes time and perseverance and good friends willing to listen :) xx